Wednesday, November 6, 2013

The Final Post


I don't know what to share as my final thoughts on our adventure. The purpose of the trip was to escape, recharge, and explore. The desire was to learn .I feel a need to sit down, think back over the past 50 days, and condense the most memorable experiences into neat and simple lessons. But these past seven weeks haven't been a collection of neat and comfortable lessons that are easy to organize.

So with that, here we go, in no particular order. Random thoughts –

Spend less time planning.
Waste less time planning and trying to mitigate risk and more time doing and problem solving. I can research. I can plan. I can interview. I can learn. I can plan some more. But I can never eliminate the element of uncertainty. A plan often gives me a false sense of security to begin with because I am rooting my plan in assumptions and beliefs that are constantly changing. Furthermore these beliefs are out of touch with the reality of the situation.

This trip makes me feel like we over plan. I'm not saying that we shouldn't look around, and ask the experts (and by experts I don't mean suits and ties and PhD's, I mean people who have experienced and lived through similar events to what we are planning for). It’s have an understanding of the environment we are entering into, and then to act. But we deliberate on the acting part. And not to the benefit of the outcome. The delay to action temporarily appeases our fears and insecurities, but it doesn't lead us to a more meaningful or productive outcome.

I bike around 750 miles over 3 months with Jack and took a two hour bike maintenance lesson from a local mechanic before leaving on the bike trip. A successful outcome comes from the ability to evaluate the situation once you actually get into the environment. Success comes from your flexibility and openness to change directions, to let go of your deeply held assumptions that are being proved untrue by the environment in that moment, and take meaningful action. Planning is meant to eliminate risk. A plan makes us feel safe. Often what is best for us is to take big risks, and go to a place that isn't safe at all.

Forget the busters.
I want to more fully accept myself for who I am. We met a handful of people along the 3800 mile journey who seemed to live a meaningful life. These people were comfortable with themselves on a level I've rarely seen. Little to no energy was given to caring about what people thought of them, to the anxiety of potential failure and embarrassment in the everyday routines of their lives.

Say what you think. Say what you feel.
Avoid mixed messages and passive aggressive beating around the bush. We have very effectively taught ourselves how to ineffectively communicate. Effective communication comes from genuinely communicating wants and needs, while still being able to consider and think about others. We really over complicate things sometimes.

Embrace your inner introvert.
Like Roberta always says “If people don't like you, tough shit.” Life is really, really short. I like feeling marginalized and small. I like realizing what a small piece of a bigger picture I am. It oddly makes me feel empowered. The older I get the less interested am in the high school environment of desiring to be liked by as many as possible, to be popular. I’m more interested in pouring time and effort into building deep, meaningful relationships where there is a deep level of trust and ability to be vulnerable with each other. Forget the friend count and numbers game. Pick quality over quantity. Every time.